Guangzhou!!

Kerry here once again! Guangzhou was our final destination on our mainland China tour, and what a perfect way to end with a two day stay in Momo's hometown (or home-huge-ass city)! The four of us were picked up at the airport by Mr. Yang, Momo's dad. In chinese culture it is common for guests like ourselves to refer to Momo's parents as aunt and uncle instead of Mr. or Mrs. Additionally, married women keep their maiden name. Yang Siu Siu (Uncle Yang Momo's dad) and Lu Lai Li (Aunt Lu Momo's mom) took us out to a traditional chinese dinner where we also met Momo's grandparents (the cutest, sweetest couple!). Brit and I had no idea what to expect of this dinner, taking into consideration of both the cultural and language barriers, but dinner ended up being a humbling experience. Momo's family was so welcoming and made us feel right at home...in China! By the end of the night we truly felt part of their family: sitting around the living room enjoying tea and wine, watching a chinese dating show and engaging in conversation (courtesy of Momo and John). We were really lucky to have this experience :)

The following day the four of us set off to explore Guangzhou, the third largest city in China. The girls got our nails done and the four of us also adventured into an arcade... step aside Hampton Beach...this was absolutely insane. Children AND adults packed every game. Brit and I witnessed a middle-aged woman competing in a racing car game with racing glasses on and black leather gloves. We all rode in a virtual reality ride and also tried a favorite of John and Momo's arcade games, a drumming competition-ish game? Ill have to explain that one in person...

At this point Brit and I have had our fill of Chinese food...ALRIGHT alright...I have had my fill of Chinese food and beg John for something familiar. He takes us to...PIZZA HUT. Interestingly enough in China Pizza Hut is a sit down Italian dinner...thank youu God :) We headed back to Momo's house to hang with Lu Lai Li and Grandma and to catch the next episode of the dating show...and to teach them Rumy 500. Lu Lai Li and Momo school us at our own game and we head to bed to rest up for our train back to Hong Kong in the morning...

Sarcasm just doesn't translate...

Breakfast in Beijing

Squatty Potty

After a few afternoon drinks and hookah we started thinking about the differences of Asian culture: word pronunciation, manners, driving etiquette and sarcasm. The mandarin language is made up of many small syllable words sounding harsh like they are always yelling, even if they are happy. I am almost relieved I do know understand or speak the language because if I ever attempted to do so I would be so nervous by their raised voice I wouldn’t be able to correctly pronounce a word. We started to question Momo if you could use the same word to carry different means, for example: If you say Ok! Ok? Ok… in English would there be an equivalent translation in mandarin? There are 4 different voice inflections/tones in mandarin and they represent different words entirely, not different meanings of the same word.

As we have so far seen in our time in China, it is very common for people to burp outloud, “hack” and spit in public. This takes place everywhere, in outdoor markets, on the streets and even in restaurants. People are also allowed to smoke everywhere! Which has taken a bit of getting accustomed to. And our favorite the squatty potty. This is their common restroom. It basically is a hole in the ground where you need to grouch over to pee. Guys clearly have this way too easy, woman need to take yoga to maneuver their bodies in the correct position without falling over. Beware of back-lash. O yea and these don’t have toilet paper, so one should always carry tissues with them.

And whoever started the rumor that Asians are bad drivers is a completely wrong generalization. They do not drive 30 mph and stay in one lane at all. They drive super-fast, cutting people off (but always using their blinker) and winding through traffic like a maze. Asians are masters of the road in every way, and can get you from point A to point B in record timing.

When brining up the idea of sarcasm, its determined that you need to understand the language very well before you are able to be sarcastic. Because Momo speaks wonderful english we ask her if she is able to understand sarcasm...she tells us we just are not funny. Is that chinese sarcasm or maybe we are not funny?

Our last day in Beijing being

tourists is spent visiting Tiananmen Square, one of the largest public squares in the world, the Forbidden City and Jingshan Park where a famous emperor h

anged himself. It was nice to get a Chinese history lesson to appreciate the beauty and culture of where Beijing came from.

Our last meal is a traditional Chinese Hotpot. A little different from back home, the hotpot is larger and has a cylinder in the middle filled with coals that help it burn to keep the water hot. If anything hits the coal filled cylinder, it will burn and smoke and get stuck. We lost some of meat and noodles to this process. We order meats, vegetables and noodles to boil. There is also something that resembles a roll on the table as well (we are both CRAVING bread SO bad so decides we will try this). Momo tells us we should not eat anything here without boiling it first and killing the germs. The minute this “bread” is put into the boiling water it disintegrates at rapid speed. No one ate the "bread" and we are still unsure what it was. Kerry and I were eating this noodle-like thing, tasted a little funny, but we didn’t complain. We then are informed that it is tofu skin…yeah hotpot is not the same as back home.

Because Hookah was such a success the last time we decide to repeat it at this really "li hai" (bad ass) Tibetan style restaurant in a funky area of Beijing. The drink list was fabulous: Grasshoppers (2 parts crème de minte and 2 parts cream) and yes a man can drink it; it just needs to be in a Hoegarden beer mug, Black Russian (2 parts Kahlua and 2 parts vodka), White Russian (Black Russian + 2 parts cream), Orgasm ( 2 parts vodka, 1 part amaretto, 1 part crème de cacaco and splash of orange juice) and tequila shots (3 parts tequila, lemon, salt, and a crazy night ahead).

I don’t know if foosball is big in China or we just happen to end up in places and with people who enjoy playing. Either way we go to this pretty random bar which at the center is a foosball table. Momo, Kerry and I impress then with our “American skills” and international skills and off we went to Salsa in Beijing. Once again our American duty kicks in and we need to shows these people how to dance…because both Kerry and I know how to salsa? Sometimes all you need is a good dancing partner--Guess what time it was next…

Beijing to restore the Family Honor!!

After a slight delay in the plane to Beijing we take 3 wheeled cab to our Moulin Rouge-esque hotel. Just picture a hot dog vendors stand at Fenway park, then put wheels on that. Yup that was our cab. The hotel is located in an older part of Beijing and still very rural. Many people who live in the area do not have bathrooms in their house and use the public restrooms nearby. Beijing people are always out and about, chatting, playing games and just being friendly out in the parks in the streets at all times of day. A very unique group of people, so intriguing.

After quickly settling in we head to the city for the famous Da Dong Beijing Duck! The duck is presented to the table (head and all) and carved for us by the chef. We also tried purple sweet potatoes, walnut and mushroom stuffed tomatoes and tofu bean curd (yuck). The presentation of the food was beautiful and we didn’t even think twice about ordering the black fungus because it looked so nice. After duck sandwiches, duck in a tortilla and taking pictures with the duck head it was time to go home and get ready for the great wall.

9am sharp we start our adventure to the Great Wall! We somehow managed to get on an Asian tour-group bus. Kerry and I did not understand a damn word that bus driver was saying, but we could tell that she was annoying and no one seemed to like her too much. The trip seemed to be a scam and they wanted extra money for everything. We abandoned our group quickly, and the 4 brave soldiers venture off into the uncharted part of the great wall. The steps of the great wall are up to our mid-thigh and at a very steep angle. We had not been training for this and were not dressed appropriately. With the soundtrack of Mulan-Make a Man Our of You--in the background (yes, Kerry played it on repeat the ENTIRE time on her itouch) we made it to the "end" of the section of the Great Wall safely. Our goal was to climb as far as we could on the wall until the wall broke off and we could not go on any further. Despite the signs telling us: Danger Do Not Go Further, we obviously hopped the fence and went to the uncharted parts. Through thorny bushes, wobbly stones and climbing a rock wall, we conquered The Wall to its furthest part. The view was breathtaking—doubtful the pictures or even words will even give it justice. We “got down to business,” pretty much “Defeated the Huns” and the shots of rice wine we took at the end of The Wall CERTAINLY “made men out of us”…

After regrouping quickly back at our hotel, we headed out to Kro's Nest to celebrate St. Patrick's Day with pizza and beer (thank god). Our plan was to meet up with a few of JOhn's buddies from Beijing at an irish pub, until we got very specific instructions from his friend Danny: Take a left outside of the restaurant, head to the Hot Dog place, go downstairs all the way in the back and push a button on the wall. Confused, we follow his instructions and sure enough...a rock wall opens up and we are led into a dimly lit bar. We are officially in a speakeasy in Beijing! Over old fashions, tom Collins and whisky sour’s we met some of Johns friends from when he lived in that area. But this being St. Patrick’s Day in Beijing-we clearly could not go to an Irish bar like we were in Boston—instead we go to a nightclub. Lord help us. When we get into the club we are overwhelmed with the fact we are the only white people. We stick out pretty bad. But when Kerry and I hear American music it becomes our "official duty" to represent our country and show these Asians what we are made of. With no inkling of a warning, Kerry throws her jacket off and gives me her purse, then proceeds to jump on stage in the middle of the sea of Asian men. After a few songs and Kerry representing Americans everywhere, she is also introduced to the international sign of f**k off from a very jealous girlfriend. Shots of whiskey and ice tea chasers, lots of dancing, a creepy Asian tango-er and euro-trash Italians and its 5am again…

There is not always a "happy ending" in Shenzhen...

It is Tuesday and we board a train to Shenzhen for a day filled with haggling at the famous Shenzhen markets. Upon arrival, we enter Luo Hu (Spelling?), a 7 floor mall of little cubicles of people selling imitation handbags, designer shoes, jewelry, DVD’s and everything else you can imagine.  The majority of knocks-offs are produced in Shenzhen because the factory workers know where to get the correct material and they start up their own “companies.” Every cubicle has essentially the same stuff and people chase you saying, “Hey missy missy, you buy from me. Now buy from me.” Its intense, annoying and honestly a little scary.

Kerry here! While in Shenzhen we had the opportunity to see where John works at the Ultralife Battery Company. It was an hour long ride out of the city and into a more rural area of Shenzhen. John took us into his office where he has a huge desk, plenty of room, two bathrooms-one western and one squatty potty... and a samurai sword.  ::Side story- What should have been some fun photos with the sword, turned into bloodshed as Brittany lunged forward and slashed my finger…not going to lie, it was pretty cool…Mulan like... :: We then met the other members of his office who clearly had so much respect for John and were so excited to meet us. John also teaches English to his co-workers—they were very excited to show us their skills and praise John for his help and time. John then took us through the factory where the batteries are actually made. We went through the whole process--from lithium to cathodes and anodes—words we have not heard or seen since eighth grade science! The factory was unbelievable. There were assembly lines of workers all concentrating on their one task contributing to the end all product. We were able to meet John’s boss and even eat lunch in their cafeteria…so awesome to see a day in the life of John! People were coming up to us asking to take pictures with us, it was great. Not to get sappy on everyone here, but it was truly a special day seeing where John works. You did not need to understand Chinese to see the admiration and high regard that John’s co-workers held him at. Mom and Dad, you would be very proud.

After a busy day with Momo, Kerry and I decide to partake in the world famous spas of Shenzhen. We all choose to have a French oil massage. Ok, so I have had massages in the US, so I thought this was no big deal at all. Just a massage for the equivalent of $40 US dollars. Sounds good to me. Boy was I wrong. The whole process was SO different. They first give you these kimono short and top sets made of emperors silk. You go shower and then into the sauna. After which you change into these silks. We then are led down a hall way and into our assigned rooms. To visualize this room: it has a beautiful bathroom with glass shower, a fancy linen bed (no massage table), flat screen tv and an overgrowth of greenery. This is where everyone’s experiences start to drastically differ.  Momo is a pro at this and speaks the language so this is nothing special to her. However, Kerry and I quickly learn that there is a significant language barrier present and we then start to play charades. Rollover, does that hurt? and take off your rob become very difficult concepts and the masseuse just decides to take charge and do her/his job. This was like something out of a movie; they are jumping on the bed, sitting on your back, stretching you in awkward positions that your body is not use to. This woman/man beat the Japanese encephalitis and dengue fever out of Kerry and I. (Side note: I have 3 suspicious mosquitoes bites and am convinced to be infected and Kerry has a samuri sword battle wound. We are doomed and began our course of prophylactic ciprofloxacin.) At the conclusion of our massage, Momo asks Kerry, “Did you ask for a man too?” Kerry looks confused and says, “What are you talking about I had a woman?” This question is then directed at me, apparently Momo’s masseuse told her that I asked for a man and it must be an American thing. Kerry and I know 3 words in mandarian: Ni hao (Hello), shei shei (thank you), lei hai (bad ass). There is absolutely no way I could have asked for a guy…needless to say I was lucky enough to have a male masseuse.

"Hey missy missy you buy from me!"

Hello all!

As you can imagine, we have been pretty busy over here in HK with our awesome tour guides :) Our 5AM bedtime on Sunday set us a bit back from our early plans of site seeing on Sunday day, however after a few cups of coffee, pancakes, and motrin, Kerry, John, Momo and I were on our way to see more of Hong Kong. (Bare with us here as we attempt to describe where and what we were doing, our translators are no longer with us).
The four of us headed down to the equivalent of "Times Square, NYC" to get a feel for the typical HK atmosphere on a Sunday. The streets were PACKED with locals, tourists and many of the Philippine helpers trying to get errands done and enjoy the sunshine. HK basically makes NYC look like it does not have alot of people. Know how people use those leashes for their children in the states? So they cant run so far in the mall? I would completely endorse the use of leases in HK--we basically lost each-other all day, so I don't know how they do it with children. Side note: Most residents in HK have "helpers," women from the Philippines who come over to live with the residents and whose duties range from cooking, cleaning and helping with children--Sunday is their day off. Thousands of these workers all gather in places all over the city, one of them called Victoria Park and catch up on the day with their friends. We stopped off to try "street food" in which Brit was definitely the more daring of the two of us. Bubble Tea and dried pork meat? was enough for me...Brit dabbled in squid and animal organs and pancreas (preferring not to know exactly what organs).

From here we hopped on the MRT (HK version of the T) and went to Mong Kok in the ladies market, which is an outdoor market. The shopping was definitely an experience as the shop owners were anxious for our business. We also had our first encounter with "stinky tofu"--Imagine a mix of stinky, rotten food and garbage. Its unbearable.
Our evening ended taking a nighttime stroll on the avenue of the stars (similar to in LA), it was a beautiful night and great scenery on the water.

Finally on HK time and no longer jet-lagged we head off to the Jade market with Aunt Janet. Similar to a Flee market, rows and rows of aggressive men and woman selling jade, chinese trinkets, beads and samurai swords. Every stand basically has the same selection you just need to haggle with these woman. Clearly we have NO idea how to do that. They name a price and type it on the calculator, then you counter. Still pretty unaware of the exchange rate I basically just cut that number in half, shake my head and walk away. They then proceed to chase you saying, "Hey missy missy, you buy from me ok. You get good deal." At the end of the day I really do feel kinda bad--we are haggling with these people literally over a dollar or two. And yes everyone I promised to bring something home for its coming from here and I spent minimal on it.

Next was our trip to the Peak. The Peak is 396 meters above sea level, which represents an architectural icon and beautiful view of the city. A tram carries you to the top of this very steep Peak at a 45 degree angle with a spectacular view of HK.

To end our world wind traveling of the day is Stanely Market. Its a quaint little outdoor market on the water. More upscale than ladies market in the way the merchandise is presented, but overall it all caries the same chinese trinkets. The market is on the water and is peaceful, serene and I (Britt) would live their in a heartbeat. Just imagine mid-April weather and all you want to do is day drink...that is the complete vibe of this place. Amazing.

Heading to Shenzen tomorrow then off to Beijing for St. Patricks day, Spas, horse races and the search for the perfect dim sum dumpling.